Haiti On My Mind

Adam Petrillo, an avid reader of the Miami Herald daily newspaper wrote a timely and poignant op-ed piece that caught my attention. I echo his sentiments relative to how fragile our infrastructure is and how likely when we least expect it can become victims much like the people of Haiti. I'm sharing with you his slant along with my paraphrasing to illustrate a viable point: Lest you forget Katrina, God brings attention to that which are destined for change. The challenges we face as the world fathoms Haiti's lamentations, there's much work to be done. I'm convinced like New Orleans before her, that Haiti will not only rebound but wear her new found success with pride! We're not far removed from this tragedy, which brings me to the gist of this essay -- we're all in this together. We cannot ignore the turmoil, nor turn the other cheek for we are all Haitians. There was a scene in the movie Starman where the alien character, played by Jeff Bridges asks the character played by Karen Allen, "Do you know what I find beautiful about your species?" He pauses for a pregnant moment and tells her, "You are at your best when things are worst." This is how I feel now, and how I also feel that others should be as we endeavor to do our individual and collective parts to help this embattled nation.

As the horrific state of affairs continue to plague Haiti, we must continue to remind ourselves that we are all just one disaster away form being Haitians and do everything possible to help our brothers and sisters in their time of need. The 9-11 fiasco is a further reminder of how chaos can grip us and affect our fragile psyches. We never know when terrorists will strike. The frailty of human life transcends race, creed, color or nationality. I had the honor of working in Haiti, and even at one time was married to a proud and ambitious Haiti woman who bore me a loving son. I'm extricably tied to that country in more ways than one. I live in the 'Little Haiti' section of Miami and being among the people further galvanize my love for their culture. Their spirit is indomitable and their propensity to share with others and show kindness and love to strangers is almost boundless. Needless to say it aches my heart to see the destruction and maladies of a people struggling to eke out a living.

Even if you have never met a Haitian or know little of the country or culture, remind yourself that as God's children, "we are all Haitians." There is a popular expression in Creole -- Dieu donne, which literally means 'God gives'. I will continually ask all able-bodied Americans, especially those that look like me to do God's bidding and give any way you can. The silver lining is that the world has a chance to make Haiti right and turn the tables on America's racist Immigration policy toward a positive gain for people of color looking for a new lease on life. It must be rebuilt correctly -- and it can be done only if we all pull together and do all that we can to help because to sit by idly and not care, is a sure epithet to misfortune that may be yours someday!

Men and Mentoring

Recently a young mother called me, frustration in her voice. She voiced concern that her boys were incorigible and wouldn’t go to school. She further lamented that she was losing control and they needed someone to give them direction. I found out that the father had left the family and was a drug addict. I knew then that I had to roll up my sleeves and get to work! As a child growing up in the late 50’s and early 60’s in the historic Overtown section of Miami, when and where the village did more to raise me, distinguished gentlemen ran quite a few households. I was expected to listen, obey and be respectful to the elders.

I had plenty of men that I looked up to as models for roles that men played in shaping young minds. As I write this article I lament and observe with dismay seeing the young folk in this generation miss out on what it mean to look up to anything worthy of respect and honor. Of course, there are some who do not fit this description, but more often than not I see more than a token few who are not adhering. I’m tired of the sagging pants concept, the gansta mentality, and misappropriated swagger that fuels the aforementioned. The purpose of this essay is to shed light on my opinion of what men should do to mentor, and how children should go about being recipients of tutelage that can mold upstanding young men as leaders of tomorrow. What I’m observing is not indicative of the idea I have of what young folk should do for respect and honor.

Raising children in this generation is fraught with bastions of low self-esteem, dysfunctional families, and communities disenfranchised. Our young children most importantly are being misled and are embracing the wrong stimuli to propel them to greater expectations. The concept of the village raising a child is moribund and fleeting when you stop and think of all of the vices that are gripping our children today. Sex and immorality abound, including misappropriating values and options such as homosexuality and gender issues. I’ve always felt that there need to be more to help those in need in building character and being the respecter of all things good and gracious. Mentoring, in my opinion is the cornerstone of helping to change who, how and when we should look up to something and someone. In the bible there are several examples of men and mentoring: Paul mentored Timothy and Titus like sons in the faith, and they looked to Paul like a father. Elisha learned at the feet of Elijah and went on to be a greater prophet of God. Jonathan was the rightful heir to Israel’s throne but he forsook that to mentor and befriend young David.

Eschewing the limitations of a one man show, the necessity of prioritized regimen, and the giftedness of the body of Christ naturally leads to the importance of training and delegation. Neither Moses, following Jethro’s advice, nor the apostles ignoring the legitimate needs of the people, nor allowing themselves to be distracted from the primary needs of the people and the priorities of the Word caused father figures to mentor those that needed it most. It’s imperative therefore, for pastors to train the body of saints in the basics of the Word, and delegate various aspects of ministry to other qualified members of the body according to their gifts and the Lord’s leading in each believer’s life. We can always point to the necisssity of training and delegation -- Acts 6:3-4, I Timothy 4:6, 11-16 and 2 Timothy 2:2 to reinforce these ideas.

We need men in the homes to stablilze familial order and allow children to look to their parents as their first mentors. Also, I’ve always felt that the church is the last frontier of hope for our youth and should be doing more to train them for the leadership roles that would propel and extrapolate them to fulfill their destinies. I do not discount social dynamics relative to community activism that challenge change to cultivate our children, but there needs to be incorporated in that tutelage spiritual values for better parallels. A church without a blue print to focus on challenging children to be the best that they can be with sustained tutorials and bonding sessions where transitioning boys to men is the norm rather than wishful thinking, and would be ineffective and lacking.

What then should men be dong to mentor? As mentioned earlier they should be right there to be the helpmate that wives need to nurture; thety should shadow their children to build bonds that tie together love and respect; and most importantly, they should train up their children using Biblical references and a sense of spiritual worth. On the other side of the coin is how children generally, and boys specifically, should go about choosing a mentor. If the family structure isn’t as sound as it should be there will be problems. First and foremost, someone with morals and upstanding mannerisms, with a strong community presence, and certainly someone who knows what the inside of a church looks like should be in place. The willingness to be taught where discipline is not spared should be qualities that all mentees should adhere to.

I take mentoring serious and pride myself on making it a positive experience when I can help give the younger generation a better starting place for whatever they are going to pursue. Being a mentor means men should be about looking inside and outside of their Diaspora and thinking creatively in finding someone who needs direction. This can be achieved by helping a young boy to pull up his pants, or by coercing a young lady to keep her dress and panties up, and to give both a helping hand to make the best decisions for career development. It means leading by example and exemplifying a model to be emulated and a wherewithal to be respected. I’m doing my part, what about you?

How Gen Y Employees Can Save You Money and Grow Your Business

Have you ever stopped to think how the young folk of this present era seem to be defined by what the signs of the imes? How are you dealing with it? And to what extent has it impacted your life? Below author, Jason Dorsey introduces you to his new book and with perhaps an eye-opener for a new train of thought.

Employers always seem to be asking me, "What in the world is Generation 'Y' (Gen Y) thinking when they do some of the things they do at work?" As a researcher and member of Gen Y, which I define as being born from 1977 to 1995, I think it's important to shine a spotlight on what my generation is thinking when we show up to work (and then immediately ask for a coffee break). The more employers understand Gen Y's perspective, the easier it is to identify the strategies and actions that can transform us into high-performing, loyal employees.

GEN Y'S TOP FIVE LIST FOR HOW WE THINK AND ACT AT WORK

1. No expectation of lifetime employment -- Gen Y is the only generation in the modern workforce that has never expected to work for one employer our entire career. In practice this means that Gen Y expects to change employers throughout our lives, because it would be abnormal for us to stay with one company. This doesn't mean Gen Y won't or can't stay with one employer, just that we see nothing wrong with switching employers if a job or company no longer fits us (or our sleep schedule). Though we may not expect to be with a company for 20 years, we are willing to work extremely long hours for an employer if we feel a genuine connection to the company or its mission. At one online education company I visited, the Gen Y employees were working seven days a week, and some were taking showers in the office building in order to meet deadlines. One of the Gen Y employees told me, "That's just what you do when your company is counting on you."

2. A feeling of entitlement along with big expectations -- The biggest complaint I get from employers of all ages -- including Gen Yers who manage other Gen Yers -- is that many in Gen Y feel entitled. We show up to work and act as if our boss owes us something for our presence. I know how off-putting Gen Y's attitude can be, but before we condemn my generation as a bunch of spoiled brats (something that I find personally offensive and plan to tell my mom about) we should consider for a moment that entitlement is 100 percent a learned behavior. You are not born entitled. You have to be raised that way. This might hit a bit close to home if your twentysomething child is still on your car insurance and carries one of your credit cards for emergency use only, which could mean a sale on cherry-flavored Pop-Tarts® at Target. In fact, many of us in Gen Y were told, "As long as you're in college, we'll help you out." Seven majors and one study abroad semester later, we're graduating with 196 credit hours and an Associate Degree -- and courageously entering adulthood by returning home.

3. A hunger for instant gratification and tangible outcomes -- Gen Y has come of age with almost instantaneous access to just about everything and everyone -- from instant meals to instant messages. This constant immediacy has taught us to have little patience, short attention spans, and to seek ongoing progress in every aspect of our life. We hate waiting in lines at the grocery store (Can you say self checkout?) and don't want to show our work on math problems, especially if you already told us our answer is correct. We will even walk into a fast food restaurant, see a line at the counter, and leave to go somewhere else. However, rather than brand us as the "instant everything" generation, my research shows we are simply outcome-driven. This observation changes the conversation, because it shows we are not about having everything now, we simply don't see -- and therefore we do not appreciate -- the steps involved in creating the outcomes we want. We literally do not connect the dots or consider our plans in terms of policies and procedures -- that's an older generation's way of approaching work. Instead, all we want to know is what you want us to do. Then get out of our way so we can get it done. In the workplace, this makes us extremely project-oriented rather than job-description focused.

4. A new relationship with technology and communication -- Since Gen Y grew up during the Internet boom and mobile communication revolution, technology has become an extension of ourselves. However, older generations have a big misconception when it comes to Gen Y and technology. Older generations think that Gen Y is tech savvy. This is 100 percent not true. Gen Y is not tech savvy, we are tech dependent. Important difference. We don't know how technology works. We just know we can't live without it.

5. A need for ongoing feedback -- When it comes to employing Gen Y, if your company only gives annual reviews, then you can change the name. Call them exit interviews, because Gen Y won't be there. We need feedback on a much more regular schedule, ideally twice a month, but don't confuse frequency with a major time investment. We don't want an in-depth 360-degree performance review, complete with personality assessment. Just a five-second check-in that says you notice we exist. All we need is for you to pause outside our cubicle and say, "Jordan, I saw how you helped Mrs. Booker solve the billing problem. Good job." That's it. Nothing more.

TURNING THESE GEN Y CHARACTERISTICS INTO A COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE

As a member of Gen Y, I admit that all five of these characteristics do not initially appear as workplace strengths. However, I have seen time and again how employers have made every one of these Gen Y characteristics into a workplace advantage when Gen Y is managed correctly. The key is to start with an understanding of our mindset, find a common ground with your company's goals, and build on it. In fact, the breakthrough moment for many of my clients who employ Gen Y is realizing that what their Gen Y employees want in order to put forth their best effort is often less expensive and easier to give than their current employment practices. Now that is something you will want us to text our friends about -- but not until our lunch break.

Author Bio: Jason Ryan Dorsey, author of Y-Size Your Business: How Gen Y Employees Can Save You Money and Grow Your Business is an award-winning entrepreneur and an acclaimed keynote speaker often referred to as "The Gen Y Guy"®. He has been featured as a Generation Y expert on 60 Minutes, 20/20, the Today show, and The View, as well as in Fortune magazine. For more information about the book, please visit www.JasonDorsey.com. ©2009 Jason Ryan Dorsey, author of Y-Size Your Business: How Gen Y Employees Can Save You Money and Grow Your Business

Motown, Music and Me

The soundtrack of my life can be defined and cataloged by songs, songwriters and producers of record companies that gave us much more than hip-shaking music. One such company went far and beyond normal application -- Motown. There’s so much to say about Detroit and it’s legendary contribution to the music world. Motown Records and all of the icons, stars and overall aura that precipitated it all celebrates 50 years -- that’s half a century of music, some of which I have deep in my permanent files. Rhythm and Blues and any derivative of it, embodied talented singers and the producers who squeezed every ounce of ‘soul’ from anyone who stepped up to the mike, including the iconic record labels. Every noted urban center were represented, from Chicago (Decca, Vee Jay, Chess), Philadelphia (Philadelphia International, Cameo), New York (Atlantic), Memphis (STAX), Miami (Alston), et al. But Detroit had a magic and an unprecedented run that made stars of the teens and anybody in between that came across its threshold. I grew up on this music and wanted to share my sentiments of the first 50 years.

It all started in 1959. I was only 8 years old and didn’t grasp this phenomena until after my tenth year. By that time finger-popping primed me for what had become an obsession. Who would have thought that the soul of young America would emulate to proportions that transcended race. By the time Berry Gordy found a winning formula different persuasions found it not a crime to embrace, copy and spread the word that something special was on the horizon. Motown artists are credited with being among those who broke down these barriers so later audiences would no longer be separated by color. Witness the Beatles, Dusty Springfield, Dell Shannon and others of a different persuasion who wanted a piece of that magic. In my opinion I feel that the music that Motown created was a visionary force, and today it’s etched into the mindset and archives of legendary proportions. For me, I used the music to identify with every emotion that fueled my existence. When I needed a love song, I sought Smokey Robinson; when I wanted social consciousness complete with a soothing sense of sentimentality, Marvin Gaye was my surrogate; when I craved that sophisticated soul that possessed unique phrasing, The Temptations was there with a lead singer with charisma; when I felt that jazz overtones needed and upbeat with a groovy intonation, up jumped Jr. Walker and his All-Stars; and when I felt the need to be buck-wild and wanted to dance in the streets, Martha Reeves and her Vandellas along with the Marvelettes this was my elixir that kept me in rhythm. I cannot overlook Mary Wells, who gave me a chance to see how love could be requitted and regained for intrinsic value.

If you don’t know the history of Motown, know how important Smokey Robinson was to the early growth of this music, and you will then understand how and why the tandem of Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier and Eddie Holland (Holland-Dozier-Holland) was so instrumental in its success. Listen to any song by the Four Tops, the aforementioned Mary Wells, et al and you will get to know who the Andantes were -- who historians say appeared on more than 20,000 recording sessions. They were the background singers that were expected to create that for high end falsetto-like technique found on every Four Tops, Mary Wells and Supremes recordings. Do I dare mention Motown without heralding The Funk Brothers? This rhythm section is credited with creating the Motown sound. Without them there would be no Motown! I distinctly remember that I purposely used to monitor how a record first started out in determining whether it had that unique sound I was looking for. I surmised that a hit record needed a signature line or something that would give it that preliminary hook, and those brothers brought the bacon home.

Now comes the 50 year anniversary and a unique compilation of talent that the world cannot overlook for what it meant to music in the Black community. Think Motown, and I’ll willing to bet everything I own that memories will take you back to those halcyon days of yore when you were a teeny-bopper looking for love, or a young adult that was captivated by how soul could serenade and color your world with melodious sound. When I first heard Stevie Wonder sing “Fingertips” at 9-years old I felt that no other musical genius would come to fore again in my lifetime, but just a scant five years later we were introduced to a pint-sized James Brown (spins and all, along with the verve to manipulate a microphone) out of Gary, Indiana along with his four other brothers! Yes, the Jackson Five was a part of that legacy in 1969. My favorite group at Motown was the Temptations, which I also include in the same breath as The Platters and The Drifters. Because of Motown’s success and the type of artists they spawned, I’ve tended to be most critical in how I appraised singers, groups and record labels. I realize too, that this is a new era -- a generation where music to them is not the same, nor is the music they’re making. I can readily say that the music of today is a far cry from what GOOD music is supposed to be. You see, I judge groups by the persona that style and substance produces within (the group). I always ask myself can they dance, does the lead singer has more than just a good voice, do they possess tight harmony and that the phrasing is indicative of what would make them unique?

I truly miss Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, Barry White and others who have been influenced by that motor town sound. But Studio A at Hitsville, USA was where legends were made. Motown has come and gone, but the memories are here to stay. I learned a lot about Berry and his empire -- flaws and all, but now that we can sit and enjoy the old school flavor that those songs inspired I can always relive, relax and retrieve it all, for I have my ipod with 10,000 songs securely in place. I’m proud to acknowledge that the celebration of Motown 50 continues around the globe with events, special programming, exhibits, etc. With uncanny timing while changing the dynamics of musical lore, Berry Gordy’s legendary Motown Records made its mark not just on the music industry but society at large, with a sound that has become the soul of America. Suffice it to say, there have been other successes in Black music, but no other record company in history has exerted such an enormous influence on both the style and substance of popular music and culture. That influence is still being felt today, from pop to hip-hop, as Motown celebrates the 50th anniversary of the company’s founding. If you’re a baby-boomer you will remininsce back to your teen years and know when and where good music was made; if you’re read about and heard people talk about, know that it was real and the music will never die -- go and relive it!

The Soul of THIS Man!

There's a seminal new anthology out now, and you should read it and add itto your bookshelves. Men the world over has responsibilities that are unique onto themselves, as well as for their homes and the communities they live in. Lifetimes of experiences may not have had us on the same radar for doing what we should have been doing to uphold our honor. Thus, men in general and Black men particularly have been feeling the pangs of angst in societal circles. We've been much maligned and as a result we have suffered and shouldered the blame for a litany of problematic issues. Women who love us have tolerated our actions, gave us a plethora of chances, and for the most part have taken on quite a bit of the responsibility that is ours!

Last year a colleague of mine asked me a question that I had to ponder a bit. She asked me: " What is exactly is in the minds of men, nowadays?" And I shot back -- "how well do you know YOUR man?" To answer both queries and to shed light on the situation, there's a unique and important book that does just that, it's called The Soul Of A Man. It presents an admirable collection of inspirational stories that share and shed the innermost thoughts of real men and real issues. You should endeavor to read them...our stories reveal how faith is used to handle day-to-day struggles, pains and temptations to show what the rest of manhood is all about. I'm one of them -- hear my cry to know my story by joining us on this literary journey. One of the two essays I have in the book answers the topical issue, and later on you will want to read the seminal essay, 'Adam Where Art Thou?' In a generic sense I will ask all the questions now: What do you think would be on the minds of men; and for the women, just how well do you know YOUR man? What SHOULD he be thinking about?

This is an anthology that gives different views on the ways to fathom the mindsets of a few good men. Albeit, I'm writing this blog to ask a few questions of my own and to get feedback on your interpretative feelings on the state of men in your midst and beyond. In today's wacky and weird world, what exactly are in the minds of men? Should we be worrying about our families more, attuned to what's happening in our communities and most importantly, should our self-esteem be way beyond levels of how we're normally depicted in our Diasporas? I opine that the souls of men truly wants to be understood and not undersold. Individually and collectively throughout history time has measured the successes and failures of us and have judged accordingly. We've had to deal with stacked decks and unbalanced scales short of what's right to account for our actions. In some quarters society may not have treated us well, although a lot of it may have been our faults...but we definitely have something to say about it!

Making the Right Decisions in Selecting a Soul Mate

Sometimes you are just confused as to whether you really love the person you are dating or it is mere attraction, and it is difficult to make a decision. Questions abound and you don't know how can you be so sure that you’ve picked the right one? Well, the first thing that should be done is ask yourself why you have the love for the person you’re with? A better understanding of your heart and what it says should not be understated. For instance, does your heart beat for your partner? Do you feel totally devastated when he is not around? You should know the difference between love and infatuation. Blind love is not an option and shouldn’t be part of this equation.

More often than not there comes times when we see in our paths that one person that seemingly is for us, and we put ourselves in position to allow what we see to believe without full scrutiny. In all aspects of life we are generally judged by the choices we make, and in some cases by choices we DON’T make. Discernible options that are ours places us in precarious positions when we are not equipped to be prominent in those choices, and not positioned favorably to take advantage. With this in mind, we have to live in harmony with Christ’s mandate for holy matrimony. This is part of His Divine plan for our salvation. The gist of this essay then, are lessons derived at how we should make the right decisions, live the type of life that would exemplify good works, and allow self, family and community to be part of all of the aforementioned. The lessons gives opportunities for reconciliation and a better understanding choosing partners for life! But how can we go about the business of finding the ones apropos for good lifetime relationships?

Throughout history time has shown us what happens when we don’t go beyond status quo or look deep within in lieu of opting only for surface matters to color our palette. Having the right person in your life is liken to relating to that which is a deep metaphor for your soul to reverberate and be sharing of the things that God has envision for that person to be one with you. I will refer to thematic overview for subjective interpretation as ‘soul mates’ when referring to those that should align themselves for a congruent relationship.

Our soul mates are not progenitive to just the opposite sex, but can come from all walks of life. All things are not equal in degrees of development. There’s differences in the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of how we choose our friends and acquaintances. Sometimes these relationships can be intense depending on our souls connecting from the past without allowing it to undermine the advantages of futuristic progress as opposed to possessing a regressive mind. So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner? I’ve formulated a few tips that I find to be important to help one understand the true essence of love and help you make decisions as to choosing the right soul mate.

Common Interests -- For a compatible relationship the couple should have common interests...interests that both find engaging. There should be no inhibitions or compromises. When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person in order to live a happy life, or end up living completely separate lives. Therefore to avoid any future complications and creating egotistical issues, it’s better to analyze your interests and desires for a perfect match.

Ambitions -- Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t pursue goals that may be ordained from God. Healthy ambition can help any relationship prosper. I find it so necessary to preserve your individuality and make it clear that you too, have a life and ambition worth the sake of the relationship. Find out whether your partner are comfortable with dual goal-setting initiatives. Would your partner be willing to let you have that career you have always wanted?

Intellect -- This is important and should be one of the things that you look for in choosing your soul mate. Does the intellect levels match? It is very difficult to communicate with a dull or insensitive person who may not be willing to reason. Ask these questions to yourself: when you talk to him/her, are the wave lengths the same? How long does it take for questions to be answered adequately? Can the both of you really talk about absolutely anything? This may sound crazy but imagine living your entire life with someone who doesn't understand you and who frustrates you to no end by lack of communication?

Principles -- Deep-seated morals and ethics should be inherent in forming a base for truth and spiritual resolve. If one of you are resilient in this mode without your partner sharing the same sense of being, there will be problems in your relationship. Establishment in a strong belief system is paramount to stability and must be straightened out before plunging into marriage.

The key to a better understanding in our choices is to know beyond reproach that having the ability to discern whom shall you trust, to what degree and how to manifest ‘thus sayeth the Lord’ precepts are important. I’ve come to believe that all of our soul mates have one thing in common -- they come into our lives to teach us lessons in compassion, forgiveness and in an unconditional love of ourselves and each other. Sometimes these relationships are challenging and painful; sometimes we are victimized; and sometimes we are the very ones who are prone to show the other person how to find the path back to the Godhead. Once we know the definitive aspects of how soul mates can be positive and progressive in our lives, we will be better off in all things spiritual!

Through the Magnifying Glass

Running for the presidency and winning is one thing, but a Black man doing it is another! American reeling from the Bush years needed a better winning solution, and one American in particular sprung a surprise coming out of nowhere and thrusting intellect up in the mix coupled with a magnificent campaign strategy. It was unheard of and unprecedented in political lore. Defying all odds, he made it and his persona is bigger than life -- like that of a magnifying glass! There's quite a bit to be said about scrutiny and all of its elements. Social value that signify acceptance is different among people of other persuasions. 

They are not prone to forget that racism is institutionalized by their ignorance and stupidity...they would be content in defying proverbial status quo by seeing Obama uphold the legacy of the Black Panthers, raising a defiant fist with a "Black Power" ideological pathos.  I wonder what would be their response if he appeared at the next press conference wearing a  dashiki and his hair in cornrows? Will the bill for reparations suddenly take on more meaning than they'd want to give it credit for? 

It's not a foregone conclusion that tolerance is only as effective as the time allowed for him to be successful in all things that the Bush administration screwed up on. The magnifying glasses are out in earnest! The man is under scrutiny for everything he seemingly detracts from promises he made during his campaign for the presidency. Mentioning race is an apparent no-no as his numbers plummets in the polls every time he does so. I long for the moment when the field is open and he's running toward the goal line for a touchdown. He scored because he deftly and with aplomb snuffed out the fires of iniquity throughout the world, and did everything imaginable for people to give this man much more than the chance he deserves without the ridicule while looking for the next mistake to harp on!