The Soul of THIS Man!

There's a seminal new anthology out now, and you should read it and add itto your bookshelves. Men the world over has responsibilities that are unique onto themselves, as well as for their homes and the communities they live in. Lifetimes of experiences may not have had us on the same radar for doing what we should have been doing to uphold our honor. Thus, men in general and Black men particularly have been feeling the pangs of angst in societal circles. We've been much maligned and as a result we have suffered and shouldered the blame for a litany of problematic issues. Women who love us have tolerated our actions, gave us a plethora of chances, and for the most part have taken on quite a bit of the responsibility that is ours!

Last year a colleague of mine asked me a question that I had to ponder a bit. She asked me: " What is exactly is in the minds of men, nowadays?" And I shot back -- "how well do you know YOUR man?" To answer both queries and to shed light on the situation, there's a unique and important book that does just that, it's called The Soul Of A Man. It presents an admirable collection of inspirational stories that share and shed the innermost thoughts of real men and real issues. You should endeavor to read them...our stories reveal how faith is used to handle day-to-day struggles, pains and temptations to show what the rest of manhood is all about. I'm one of them -- hear my cry to know my story by joining us on this literary journey. One of the two essays I have in the book answers the topical issue, and later on you will want to read the seminal essay, 'Adam Where Art Thou?' In a generic sense I will ask all the questions now: What do you think would be on the minds of men; and for the women, just how well do you know YOUR man? What SHOULD he be thinking about?

This is an anthology that gives different views on the ways to fathom the mindsets of a few good men. Albeit, I'm writing this blog to ask a few questions of my own and to get feedback on your interpretative feelings on the state of men in your midst and beyond. In today's wacky and weird world, what exactly are in the minds of men? Should we be worrying about our families more, attuned to what's happening in our communities and most importantly, should our self-esteem be way beyond levels of how we're normally depicted in our Diasporas? I opine that the souls of men truly wants to be understood and not undersold. Individually and collectively throughout history time has measured the successes and failures of us and have judged accordingly. We've had to deal with stacked decks and unbalanced scales short of what's right to account for our actions. In some quarters society may not have treated us well, although a lot of it may have been our faults...but we definitely have something to say about it!

Making the Right Decisions in Selecting a Soul Mate

Sometimes you are just confused as to whether you really love the person you are dating or it is mere attraction, and it is difficult to make a decision. Questions abound and you don't know how can you be so sure that you’ve picked the right one? Well, the first thing that should be done is ask yourself why you have the love for the person you’re with? A better understanding of your heart and what it says should not be understated. For instance, does your heart beat for your partner? Do you feel totally devastated when he is not around? You should know the difference between love and infatuation. Blind love is not an option and shouldn’t be part of this equation.

More often than not there comes times when we see in our paths that one person that seemingly is for us, and we put ourselves in position to allow what we see to believe without full scrutiny. In all aspects of life we are generally judged by the choices we make, and in some cases by choices we DON’T make. Discernible options that are ours places us in precarious positions when we are not equipped to be prominent in those choices, and not positioned favorably to take advantage. With this in mind, we have to live in harmony with Christ’s mandate for holy matrimony. This is part of His Divine plan for our salvation. The gist of this essay then, are lessons derived at how we should make the right decisions, live the type of life that would exemplify good works, and allow self, family and community to be part of all of the aforementioned. The lessons gives opportunities for reconciliation and a better understanding choosing partners for life! But how can we go about the business of finding the ones apropos for good lifetime relationships?

Throughout history time has shown us what happens when we don’t go beyond status quo or look deep within in lieu of opting only for surface matters to color our palette. Having the right person in your life is liken to relating to that which is a deep metaphor for your soul to reverberate and be sharing of the things that God has envision for that person to be one with you. I will refer to thematic overview for subjective interpretation as ‘soul mates’ when referring to those that should align themselves for a congruent relationship.

Our soul mates are not progenitive to just the opposite sex, but can come from all walks of life. All things are not equal in degrees of development. There’s differences in the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of how we choose our friends and acquaintances. Sometimes these relationships can be intense depending on our souls connecting from the past without allowing it to undermine the advantages of futuristic progress as opposed to possessing a regressive mind. So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner? I’ve formulated a few tips that I find to be important to help one understand the true essence of love and help you make decisions as to choosing the right soul mate.

Common Interests -- For a compatible relationship the couple should have common interests...interests that both find engaging. There should be no inhibitions or compromises. When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person in order to live a happy life, or end up living completely separate lives. Therefore to avoid any future complications and creating egotistical issues, it’s better to analyze your interests and desires for a perfect match.

Ambitions -- Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t pursue goals that may be ordained from God. Healthy ambition can help any relationship prosper. I find it so necessary to preserve your individuality and make it clear that you too, have a life and ambition worth the sake of the relationship. Find out whether your partner are comfortable with dual goal-setting initiatives. Would your partner be willing to let you have that career you have always wanted?

Intellect -- This is important and should be one of the things that you look for in choosing your soul mate. Does the intellect levels match? It is very difficult to communicate with a dull or insensitive person who may not be willing to reason. Ask these questions to yourself: when you talk to him/her, are the wave lengths the same? How long does it take for questions to be answered adequately? Can the both of you really talk about absolutely anything? This may sound crazy but imagine living your entire life with someone who doesn't understand you and who frustrates you to no end by lack of communication?

Principles -- Deep-seated morals and ethics should be inherent in forming a base for truth and spiritual resolve. If one of you are resilient in this mode without your partner sharing the same sense of being, there will be problems in your relationship. Establishment in a strong belief system is paramount to stability and must be straightened out before plunging into marriage.

The key to a better understanding in our choices is to know beyond reproach that having the ability to discern whom shall you trust, to what degree and how to manifest ‘thus sayeth the Lord’ precepts are important. I’ve come to believe that all of our soul mates have one thing in common -- they come into our lives to teach us lessons in compassion, forgiveness and in an unconditional love of ourselves and each other. Sometimes these relationships are challenging and painful; sometimes we are victimized; and sometimes we are the very ones who are prone to show the other person how to find the path back to the Godhead. Once we know the definitive aspects of how soul mates can be positive and progressive in our lives, we will be better off in all things spiritual!